Revenge

Dear Mom,

You've lied so many time, I can't even tell the difference between those lies and the truth. To make it even harder, I suppose you can't tell either. You keep on telling yourself those lies are the truth, so you can't tell the difference anymore. It's a pity.. You're making it yourself so hard.

You're making it hard for me too. I don't know anymore if I pity you or that I hate you. I like to believe it's the last, but I mostly act like it's the first. I do pity you. A lot.

You're making me feel like I'm the submissive little halfbreed demon and you're my ruler. Turning me into something I don't want to be. Turning me into a person I don't like anymore. And I couldn't get away. but now I know I can. And I will. You're not keeping my mind as a prisoner no more.

I will take actions into my own hand. At first I will be gentle, but this will result in war. I'm certain of it. I know I've said it may times before, but until recently I didn't know how much you destroyed me. You've killed my will to live. You've killed my reasons to stay.

You made me put an armor on myself to keep everyone away. Even the people that matter most. You've killed everything that I love about myself or you made me put it away, because I was afraid someone else might break it.

Now I will take everything away from you, I will break your mind, by taking away you love most. And that will be your audience. People won't listen to you any more. They will know you're full of shit. That the only one you love is yourself. Or at least that's something you're holding on to. Because I know you're only destroying others, because in fact the only one you hate is yourself. You hate yourself and that realisation is enough to break other spirits.

I know your dirty little secret and the most ironic is, I knew it all along. Unconsiously I knew you didn't hate me. You hated yourself and we were just the ones who had to pay for that.

I will take away my father from that shithole you like to call home. I will take your children away. You will have nobody left to take care of you. And I don't care. If you want to know, why I did that, the only response is: "Love" I did that because I love them enough. I will not leave them broken. I might be egocentric or something like that, but I don't compare to you.

I will admit this is something, I will take some sadistic pleasure out of this. Revenge is a dish best served cold. And this will be my sweet revenge. Pulling myself together and live a normal life and taking everybody with me. Leaving you alone with nothing.. Nobody to help you.

Love,

Your so-called daughter.