tired, again, when does the hurting stop

whats life worth when all you do is tire yourself for the others
and there is no peace of mind or gratifying feeling what so ever

peace of mind,
what is the use ?
the empty void inside
the lack of feeling ?

peace of mind is often referred to as happy and joyfull
maybe i never knew that for any longer than 5 minutes

peace of mind is just the void without any feeling what so ever,
no thought what so ever

can't i just be done with it ?
this world is ugly and dumb
all beauty that is there is being destroyed
and people cheer on as if it is the greatest and the best thing ever

can someone kill me and be done with it ?

far too often i hear that i am right
well far too often i wish i was not
not because of the words
but it means nothing to be right
nor to be wrong
all that matters is if you get, gain and reap
the right or wrong way, who cares
as long as you have more
MORE

can't they just kill me and have one more kill to cheer for ?
and don't even think your not to shame
you play the get more game just the same
it just doesn't bring me happiness


i'm kinda tired
i know most things i say fit
i know most things i do are what has to be done
and i know
the things i would love to do
you do not approve of
but should be done

i can not do what i should be doing
and that might be my fault
or maybe the side i try not to show

i am tired of living in a world filled with ignorence
i am tired of living for idiots
11 jan 2007 - meld ongepast verhaal
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mahakala, man, 47 jaar
   
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