Well there goes my self confidence
I knew I was wrong. I knew I couldn't do it. The train was not right. I CANT do it. Now Jack has to find another accompanist in one day because I suck at piano. I don't want to take lessons anymore. What's the point if I can't play a song that was worth the most to me? As much as I love music sometimes I just want to give it up. I'm fucking last chair in clarinet, even though everyone else has had three years of expierence and I've only had two but still it still makes me feel like I absolutely suck. I was so excited and then I realize it's not possible and I completely let jack down. I let one of my best friend and a great boyfriend down. What's wrong with me? Why didn't I just tell him it's too hard in the first place? I am a really bad friend and girlfriend. I want to sleep and forget everything that happened in these last few weeks. Although it was the best two weeks today was the worst. And I just want it to go away and not leave a scar of guilt in my heart. I am hating myself right now. Music is such a big part of my heart that when something like this happens I just want to watch movies all day and ignore jack.
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-O
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-O
25 feb 2012
- meld ongepast verhaal
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Hey?! :)
zaterdag 25 februari 2012 06:50
Like I said before... hang in there, you'll improve. People don't become great musicians without making mistakes and going through the crappy moments. In my second year of playing trumpet I was one of the last chairs too but I looked past that and focused on enjoying the art and sharpening the skills! I improved so much (except all those years of practice disappeared once i got braces haha), and now I'm in college and it's like that all over again. : ' ) You can only get better. Practice nonstop &you won't even notice how you become amazing!
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