fishing in my private life

they are and asking strange questions,
they want to know a lot
and the funny thing was that when i was there
at that answere, the one i value most
it went all crazy.

and no i don't want to upset
and i don't want to derange things once more.

something is going totally weird
btw, i am shaking in my room
remembering things i cannot even share here
not with you all
not even the most closest of friends.
but they are now close in my mind
not closed but near
frightning shit of the past
and know, i want to save yuo from that.
if that were to go down,
i would never forgive myself.

and some might read these words as a joke and fantasy
hell you don't even know what it is all about.
never been there on the otherside and beyond
i can tell cause i have not seen many on that side
and the view i have seen
locked me out.

now i am telling too much too little to distorted

they are fishing in my private life
trying to find some answeres
and it would be so much easier
if they just, just came face to face
and just asked.
wrote a fucking email or something simple
just freaking ask.
but they need to fuck me up
get me in this semi paranoid state
so they believe i would not tell a lie
and let me tell you this.
there is no lie

i'm losing sleep
losing peace of mind
just get done with it
i'll have a 75% chance of being dead at 42.
that leaves me 12 years of life
so get over with it.
there is no reason to waste me over nothing.
this is no joke.
once you are in the place i am,
there is nothing funny about life.

if you are looking for something, get it
ask it
i'll give it.
24 feb 2008 - meld ongepast verhaal
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monster, man, 47 jaar
   
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