weet je hoe het voelt ?

het is een hel

just when you think every thing is okay shit appears
not on the horizon
not on the doorstep
no right in your face

all these years i have tried to rid myself of old habits
of old thoughts
and what is the reward ?
people don't respect you, don't understand you
you're all alone in this ugly god forsaken world

any sympathy from any one is like good intentions
but invein, for the underlying properties they do not understand
are so very clear to me

yeah you smart asses who read this thinking i am so full of myself better stop reading cause i will make you even think worse of me

stop here.



people are kinda like mindless pigs, pigs are more intelligent mind you
the animals have more respect and beter behaviour
when muslim extremist call westerners low, know that they are so right on the spot
this is not my defence for them, this is just saying they have a valid point
but they too are a like westerners, they are just too blind to see

there is a book called, " the culture of narscisme" read it, i have not

the sociaty brings people up to be selfish in moderation
this is good for the economy and for common wealth
i can not find fault in that part, but there are side effects not foreseen
though not consiously, unconsiously the collective is and ego is fully aware of its effects
and prepared to deal with the consequences, because most consequences are not to be felt in this lifetime

the lack of proper education and upbringing is the foundation to the fall of sociaties
everyone knows that, but they do not know or acknowledge that this upbringing and education is doing just that

the short commings of sociaty and humanity in general are not seen or denied,
because bringing it back to what things should be like would upset the economy and sociaty
that would be the consequence the ego and the collective subconsious hide away for future generations to salve, which will only be delayed by human nature

as now i am a victim of such upbringing and education
therefore i can see this clear but feel it as well
while i had foreseen the effects some ten years ago
and tried to change my ways to make myself and the world a better place
i have found that i am quite alone in this
maybe i am just not at the point of falling in to the trap

but i have not seen any one, with this clarity,
there are some who come close
some that surpass me but i can not see that as of yet i am still learning
but i know it is possible for every one
yet see no one making serious attempts to gain this clarity
and most bring up excuses which are meaningless to me
understandable but meaningless

even in all my forgiving and understanding people just make use of it
not trying to learn any thing, just taking advantage of this clarity
some do try, i can see that, and encurage that but do still fall
and can i blame them ?
no, this world is full of filth and bad behaviour which is promoted every day
and people think it is normal and acceptable
that is such a misunderstanding
and if i do not get out of this world soon, i will fall
and when i do, and i probably will
i will be the worst mistake this world has brought forth
as it will be a resault of niglect and rejection on your part
and just a human weakness on mine

some said i should not detach myself from humanity
but if i don't, i will make the worst human mistake ever made
so i detach myself
as i am no longer human, this will give me room to breath
and learn even more,

people let me down, and i let people down
i can explain it in clarity
i do not have any excuses
you on the other hand make up excuses
and the worst of them is
weakness, but you call it strength