Time For Change

"Once in every life, someone comes along. And you came to me, it was almost like a song." - 'Almost Like A Song' by Ronnie Milsap

This was a song my dad used to sing to me while I was younger. He used to pull out his acoustic guitar and tell me to hum the tune while he played and sang. This is one of those memories that sticks with me to this day, and will until I die.

They say that every little girl eventually finds a husband that much resembles qualities of their father. I relate this to what I learned in my first two years of college psychology. Freud had a theory of the mother-son, father-daughter connection. He called it jealousy. That the daughter hated the mother because she was jealous of the father's attention. Likewise with a son having conflict with the father because of attention from the mother.

When I met my husband I did indeed see many qualities like my father in him:
My father is easily loved/befriended, kind, funny, very laid back, passive but good with communication, responsible, and a musician (guitar, vocals, composer).
My husband is extremely likable, he can make lasting friends in two minutes. Neil is so laid back that nothing ever bothers him. He is passive to the point of passive-aggressive (where he can bottle things up, but instead of talking about them he explodes when the meter is full). He can play the piano. He is an amazing athlete (football kicker, soccer star).

Finding characteristics that they both match so well was easy, but seeing how they are drastically different is an eye-opener. When I was little my parents made jokes that I would have to marry for money because I had so many wants. I was determined to marry for love. I dated my now, husband soon to be ex-husband, for 3 determined years to make our on-again-off-again relationship survive... Except my husband is the same man that broke up with me, never listened to me, and put his friends before me.

When he joined the Marine Corps and vowed to be a better man, I believed him.
So many letters with promises and apologies... I believed him.

Yesterday I went looking at houses for rent with a coworker and found an amazing place for a good price.
Afterward I went to Base Legal and filled out the beginning paperwork for divorce. Life is unmerciful sometimes.

-W