Would you go if you don't know when you come back?

I would go, I know the answer now.
My friend asked me if I would go with him on the plain or stay here with anyone I knew, but I couldn’t answer. She had no idea how big the question was for me.
If I would go I knew I was wanted, that I wasn’t just someone who was there, but wasn’t really necessary. Too be honest, I never got that feeling here.

I love my friends, but they would never give as much friendship back as I would want to give. I can’t give them as much as I want because I want to be even, I don’t want to be used, and I’m scared of that.
One of my friends know that they are a bad friend because I told here, and she is feeling guilty. I told here it was okay, but it’s still that I don’t feel like she is my real friend, even if she is trying to make it up. The others won’t even bother.

Just as my parent, no one would give them any feedback but me and they hate it that.
My dad gets mad at me if his theory didn’t work out and my mom forgets I’m recovery and ill. But every time I bring it up to my mom she is saying ‘Oh I didn’t knew, you should told me sooner because now you are angry and blabla’ But at some point I can’t tell the difference between telling them or not, I mean they will forget there promises or they just walk away without talking it through. Still they are expecting me to tell them my problems while most of the time the second thing happens, and oh wauw then it’s so weird that I am upset and went. Not that they knew tonight because they are all like coming too me and asking me very normally were the nail polish remover was, like nothing was going on.

So yeah, I would love to go because I have the feeling I’m not appreciated and wanted anymore. I’m thinking they won’t even miss me, maybe I’m wrong yeah, but still it’s not okay too have that feeling.